At Home!

My body said ok auntiejthegreat it is time to stay home. So I did.
A time of quiet, can that be true, quiet? Yep it happened here today. (sigh......) It is a good thing. A bit of reflection,,, and quiet,,,
Ok, so it is driving me nuts!!! Too much of a good thing,, one day?? My daily pace has caught up with me I am afraid to say. Life is good thought! I am thankful for today, for the many blessings that surround me, even in a quiet time.
Girl Scout Thinking Day was yesterday here in Big L ( the actual day is wednesday feb. 22) We learned about England, and had a spot of tea, finger sandwiches (without the fingers, used ham and turkey instead : ) ), Courting Cake, and some nice little Crumpets. All our towns troops were there, cute little Daisys, Brownies, Juniors, and Cadettes. Everyone had a great time, leaders wore fancy hats, served tea in pretty little tea pots, pretty doilies everywhere, we even used glass cups!!! The Daisy troop made sweet table centerpieces with silk flowers and miniature British Flags, we learned new songs from England and even sang "God Save the Queen". The girls and leaders here in Lindsay are the best!
Am feeling a bit better this afternoon, took out the trash! Yea! My Precious Doll will be home soon. Will start homework, have to get out to take her to dance. So much excitement.
I am sure tomorrow will have me up and going strong, but today I am in and quiet.

25 Years over in 15 minutes

A marraige of 25 years over in just about 15 minutes. Well the court part that is. Guess it took us alot longer to get to the court part, huh.
I feel like today is a sunset, It was a pretty great 25 years, a few bumps, got shoved off the trail a few times, but all in all I really enjoyed those years.
I really do miss him, odd how someone can do such hurtful things, but you miss them... and then there is the feeling of I really need my best friend at this time,,,, and in all the years of your life,, that person who choses to walk away from you into someone elses arms,,, is the person who was your best friend and you need them the most at that moment.
I think I am loosing my mind.

I am really blessed with best friends, and family that have been and will be there for me through out all these days of self-doubt. And I am thankful for them. That God has strategicly placed them with me.
I will walk in the favor of God, His favor opens doors that no man can shut. I will arise each day and go forth, for my Light has come, and the Glory of the Lord will rise upon me each of those days. I will not be cast down, for the Lord God is with me. He is my provider, my strength, my all in all.
Even though in the fleshly relm this day really bites,
This is the day the Lord has made, and I choose to rejoice in it,, for my sake, for my daughters sake.
This evening I will enjoy the sunset,
I will remember the beauty that is in my life
And I will look forward to the sunrise tomorrow,
and the next day,
and the next,
for God is my strength,
my strong tower,
my bulwark that I lean on.

Closer to the End,,,,,,,,,,or is it the Beginning?

Well, what can I say, just finished the final draft of the divorce decree (hopefully). Just when I think we have agreed, we disagree once again.
I never thought that my life would come to a pile of dollars and cents, but that is what it has all boiled down to. Not 25 years of my life, given in loving through sickness, hurts, sprains, stitches, loss of fingers, financial loss, emotional loss,,,, and yet gained so much in those years also, a life of great young people passing through our lives but for a moment, the lessons learned, the love and true blessings we gained from them, the strength and peace that God has given us through out all those years, The most beautiful daughter in all the world, full of life, love and joy for all she knows. In no way could I have ever imagined the joy and sorrow she would bring to my life. As I watch her sleep I wonder what did I do to deserve the pleasure of having this special child in my life? It doesn't matter really. Just knowing that God has truly trusted me with her existance is more than I can fathom.
Then our sisters, brothers, our in-laws, and nieces and nephews,,, I feel priveliged to be a part of the bigger scheme of things.
I am thankful for all the memories, the laughter, watching them all grow from sweet innocent babies, to beautiful, responsible adults, and now watching all their babies bloom into wonderful, sweet, bubbly, bouncy creations, to go out and take the love of this big beautiful family with them to share with others.
These are not things I take lightly, I don't want to loose anyone, I want to be a part, to be included in the big picture all of their lives, not to be cut short by someone elses bad choices. How do I maintain that,, How do I walk in forgiveness,,,How do I take control of a bad situation and see that it turns out good, not only for me, but for my family also??
How do I not love this person, How do I release them from my heart, my soul, my total being, whom I have truly loved and trusted with my body and soul for over 3/4 of my lifetime? How do I trust again? How do I love again? How do I not hurt others as I have been?
Pity Party, no, Just real questions from my heart.
Fortunately, I do know who has the answer, because His eye is on the Sparrow, and I know he watches me. I will listen, I will watch, I will pray, I will try to be still and know that He is truly my God, my Provider, my Savoir, my Banner, my Favor, my Peace, and my Strength.

Ground Hog Day

Well, good ole' Phil the Ground hog (I can't even begin to spell his first name) has said there will be six more weeks of winter. So far we haven't had a winter. I WANT SNOW!!!!!

So Phil if your listening, can we at least have 6 or 7 inches of snow in PoDunk, Oklahoma??????

Sorry muttering again.

Trying to make some decisions about my life, needing God's guidance, but wanting things my way, then trying not to get in God's way when I ask for His help. You know He is always there to help, He tells us in His Word to, "Seek and ye shall find, knock and it shall be opened unto you". I know that the ye and you pretain to us all. I am seeking and knocking, trying not to knock the door in, to listen, to be still, to watch, I feel like such a pre-schooler. Not so easy to be still when I see things I want done, or need to be done, like NOW! God's timing is the ultimate time, His love is everpresent, His peace passes all understanding, and really I have found an element of peace in where I am now, in my small amount of being still in His presence. He is the good God after all, no matter what I feel, or see, God is Good.

Work is going well. Am off tomorrow from the job that pays, have to go toss around a few hundred cases of Girl Scout cookies, then to GS Council to turn in money for Cadette Congress, then back to Lindsay in time to get the daughter and to the scout hut to load all those wonderful cookies in girls cars to deliver to all the great people who support the Girl Scouts. (um that is my volunteer job). I really don't know what I would do without the great ladies that work with me here in Girl Scouts. They are truly some of the best. The time they give, the joy they bring. They are the best! You know what is kewl!!!!! My Great Niece was the highest seller in her Junior Girl Scout troop! Way to go B!!!! oh,,, and thanks Momma A for all the great help!!!

Enough rambling on for now, the bills are paid, I think I hear rain,,,,, CAN IT BE???? L I B, it is rain! Thank you Father from whom all blessings flow!